All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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