I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize