I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
