Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
