This girl is more easily done than said...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
