and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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