the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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