I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
