He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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