I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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