Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
