Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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