Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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