Pappa wants mamma naked
from now on my penis is your penis
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
