Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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