That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
