The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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