i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
