There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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