So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drake has all the answers
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
