Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
