That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
