I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
