My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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