I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You left your phone here
Wait...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
