so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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