dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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