JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
