so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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