For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
