id be glad to
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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