Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's the barista slut.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Found the puke drawer
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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