Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Two words: nipple clamps
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