The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
