hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
