you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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