P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
