I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and she was petting her beer can
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
