so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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