And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
