You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
