i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
