Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
