Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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