she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Umm I'm too high to move.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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