Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
