but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
