Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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