playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Randomize
