If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize