so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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