Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
