I swear she didn't look like that last week.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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