Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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