I CAN MOONWALK!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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