hotel room ftw
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
