how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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