It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
