I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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